Streaky Gut Predictions – Who Will Win The Super Bowl

Inspired by my blogger friend at Snot Bubble Football, I have come up with my “Streaky Gut” predictions for not only who will win the Super Bowl but the entire NFL playoff picture!

Originally I made a bracket based solely on statistically probability, but quickly realized that it looked just like every other “expert prognosticator” out there on the internet. . .

(Gee, I wonder how they came up with their brackets . . .)

And, decided it was, well . . . boring.

 

So I tore up the paper, tossed it into the fireplace, took another sip from my drink and went a different route.

I stuck with win streaks, hotness and the ultimate in hype . . . fabricated story lines!

After all, that is what truly sells.

Looking at the NFL playoff brackets, teams, players, coaches, and hidden story lines, I realized that there is a ton of marketing potential! Here are some, just to name a few:

• Ray Lewis’ final run and the Ravens
• Andrew Luck and the Colts
• Denver Broncos and Peyton Manning
• A rematch between the Bengals and the Texans
• Two rookie QB’s and their power running games
• A freaky godlike RB and the Vikings

It’s all there, just waiting for the networks to spin, and you to tune in and watch.

Here is what I see happening. . .

Scenario #1:

Yes, many will be talking about Ray Lewis’ final season and the Ravens ‘playing’ for their franchise player – the face of the team.  But it will not happen.

For one thing, another team already has the ‘lets win this one for him’ designation and that is the Colts. They will play well enough to win, and Flacco will have one of his notoriously frustrating ‘off’ days and pull a Romo.

The slumping Texans will be challenged by the Bengals and ultimately lose in OT in a low scoring game. It will not be won by any decisive offensive play, but rather, by the defense – the Bengals Defense.

This sets up a Colts vs Patriots and Bengals vs Broncos showdown. And some will say hey, it would be cool to have the Colts vs Broncos for the AFC Championship. Queue the ‘QB That I Used To Know‘ parody.

But it will not happen. No way. Sorry.

AFC Championship Game will be Broncos vs. Patriots.

Scenario #2:

A rematch of two old NFC teams with a history of playoff match-ups, epic games, and perhaps one team / player with a grudge and/or perhaps a thought of . . . revenge.

Add to this that said team player is carrying his team on his back, ALL DAY , ALL GAMES and you have match-up #2

The NFC Championship Game will be the AP Minnesota Vikings vs Washington Redskins!

But just like that day, back on January 17^th 1988, the Redskins will ‘make a play’ and ‘seal the deal’ for the ultimate prize against . . .

Yes folks, this sets up . . .

Scenario #3:

The Old vs New.

Imagine if you will – a former coach, called back into service to help restore fame and NFL fortune to a franchise going up against his old former team with a new owner (who just happened to have been tutored by said former retired coach) and newly resurrected “old” QB (who we used to know).

Imagine the headlines, the nationwide hoopla and hysteria of a match-up between the Shanahan RG3 Redskins and The Peyton (Elway) Broncos!

OMG!

It could happen.

But who will ultimately win the Super Bowl?

Look below at my streaky gut prediction to find out.

 

Oh, and if you want to see some of the other Fumbled Returns prognosticator predictions click below to see their brackets.

But, they are not as streaky or fun as mine . . . 😉

Seattle, Where NFL Teams Go To Sleep

God Can Save Tebow

But he can’t make him win against the Patriots.

My take on the Playoff Lines:

New Orleans -3.5 vs. San Francisco.
I’ll take San Francisco at anything 4 and over. 3.5 is a toss of the coin. Go with the Aints.

New England -13.5 vs. Denver
New England has too many weapons and Denver does not have the offensive juggernaut they need to cover the spread. Take New England.

Baltimore -7.5 vs.Houston
I’ll take Houston and the points.

Green Bay -7.5 vs. NY Giants
Ditto for the Giants.

But that all that is betting the spreads.

Straight up . . .

I’ll take the Saints, NE, OK I’ll bet the Ravens don’t show up and take Houston, and Green Bay to pull off a cliff hanger victory (less than 3 points).

Houston and Green Bay will be the games to watch!

What do you think?

Oh, and just in case you did not see the Team Coco Replay, here it is . . .

Buy the Green Bay Packers!

Yes, you can buy the Green Bay Packers, or, rather a piece of the franchise.

The Green Bay Packers are offering stock for sale.  Now, it’s not quite like buying stock in a company.  You can not make money off of it.  But, rather you support the organization.

Ownership in the Packers confers voting rights, but the shares offer no dividend and no chance for Financial Appreciation.

“First and foremost, it is a way for them to support and help the team, and it does give them significant bragging rights,” Packers President and CEO Mark Murphy told reporters. “They can say they are owners of a Super Bowl champion team.”

Stockholders may buy special Green Bay apparel, including Super Bowl champion offerings, and attend the annual meeting held at Lambeau Field on the eve of training camp each year.

The team bylaws and NFL rules severely restrict transfers of the stock. The shares may only be transferred to heirs, relatives, or back to the team at a severe discount.

Shares can also be purchased as gifts. Stock certificates purchased before December 12, 2011 should be received by Christmas.

Click here to purchase your share!

Winners and Losers

I was trying to think of a clever way to title this post, which is about my two fantasy football teams, but settled on the above title because it is the most accurate.

 

Here are some of the other titles I was considering.

 

 

 

A Big ‘ol Target – My Bad Luck and Injury plagued Borderless League Team

or

Money Really can Buy Happiness – My auction Magnates League Team is 6 – 1 !!!

 

My Borderless League Team (The Fun Bunch) started off badly with a horrible draft in that all the top RB’s were gone by the time I got my first pick. I had Jamaal Charles as my stud keeper which I had picked up the year before in the 4^th round, so I did not get a chance to actually draft somebody until the end of the second round. I was torn between him and Michael Turner as my keepers and decided to go with the younger more dynamic runner. Ha ha ha , arrgh 😦

 

Of course, we all know how that idea worked out. Matt Forte was my next top choice in the draft but he went by autopick right before me. So I ended up drafting Tim Hightower and Beanie Wells as my next top RB’s. And guess what, Hightower is now out for the season and Beanie is wobbling around on, at most one good leg/foot.

 

My first week of the season I scored 141 points! Second highest in the league for the week! Of course, I just happened to be playing against the guy who miraculously scored the MOST points! Double arrgh! 😦

 

Last week I selected Murray for my waiver wire pickup. He went to the guy with the worst record in the league before I even had a chance. What’s funny, Murray had that breakout week and the Marauders STILL lost.

 

Trades are out of the question now because the deadline has passed. 😦

 

This past week was so bad for the Not Fun Bunch, that not only did I score the least amount of points for any team, I even lost to the then second worst team in the league who’s owner is either on vacation or just given up managing his team. AARRRGH!

 

If I win any more games this season, it will be a miracle. It kills me that this is my money league and I will not be anywhere close to breaking even, let alone making the playoffs. Oh well, maybe I will take up the Suck for Luck draft position strategy for the remainder of this season.

 

After all, it is never too early to start planing for next year. . . 😉

 

Regarding my auction Magnate League Team. As I said, I am 6 – 1. And to think I was concerned that I had over paid for Aaron Rodgers, Rashard Mendenhall, Greg Jennings and Darren Sproles.

 

Those 4 players accounted for 70% of my allotted monies for 16 players.

Those 4 player have accounted for 411 of my 673 points. Or 61% of my total points have been by on third of my team.

Will Pick’em

The official Fumbled Returns Pick’em winners for this weekend are the Green Bay Packers and New York Jets !

This week, I have included the whole clan in on the predictions.

Even though I have the Steelers listed in my pick, I can live with the Jets winning because in reality, I hate Ben and I love the State of New York (including the Big Apple).  After all, I met and married my lovely wife there!

I just think the Steelers/Ben will pull off another sleezy victory and shoot the high flying jets down.

William is sticking with his Jets and Bears prediction from last week and appears to be the lone man out in the bunch.

But, if he is right, get ready for another over the top victory dance!

Running Wild

So by now you all know that there was only one really good and exciting close NFL playoff game on this weekend and it was truly great.

Watching the Cardinals win an offensive shoot out on a defensive play in OT was truly a sight to behold.

In my opinion, there was one other good game on and that was the Baltimore Ravens running over the New England Patriots. It was not even close but I loved it none the less.

Apparently some Baltimore Raven Fans thought it equally exciting and decided to celebrate by running through an electric fence.

Dogs may be mans best friend, but some just happen to be a bit smarter than their owners too!

Enjoy!

HA! a special update…

It seems I made Sports Illustrated Extra Mustard Hot Clicks. Yes it was a shameless attempt at self promotion but hey, I made it on their site. Even though I am all the way at the bottom of the post. But, I really don’t mind being on the bottom…

Check it out…

Games of the Week

Well, the two games of this past week had to have been the Vikings Packers game;
And ; The final World Series Game.

So, in tribute to both, courtesy of the Stupid Sports Blog, I present the following…

The Vikings and Packers game had 39 Million Viewers.
Here is the breakdown of the demographics…

19 million — Packers fans
500,000 — Vikings fans
2 million — Guys in Wranglers
300,000 — Gay guys in Wranglers
2 million — Guys in Wranglers who won’t admit they’re gay (overlap group of original Wranglers group)
6 million — People who were hoping Favre would snap a bone or tear a tendon
4 million — People who own Adrian Peterson in fantasy leagues, who were once again disappointed by Favre’s short-yardage TDs
150 — People rooting for Favre who aren’t Vikings fans
150 — People who own Favre in fantasy leagues and their starter on a bye (overlap group)
900,700 — Gunslingers
1 — Cyndi Lauper
1 — Mary Jensen
1 — Peter King
7 million — Lazy people who couldn’t find their remote

A Tribute Song to the World Champs –
Remix BNL “IF I HAD 2 BILLION DOLLARS”…

If I had 2 billion dollars
(If I had 2 billion dollars)
I’d buy you a house
(I would buy you a house)
If I had 2 billion dollars
(If I had 2 billion dollars)
I’d buy you players for your house
(Maybe a nice starting pitcher or first baseman)
And if I had 2 billion dollars
(If I had 2 billion dollars)
Well, I’d buy you a bullpen
(A nice reliant bridge to Mo)
If I had 2 billion dollars I’d buy your title

If I had 2 billion dollars
I’d build $5,000 seats in our yard
If I had 2 billion dollars
You could take out a loan, it wouldn’t be that hard
If I had 2 billion dollars
Maybe we could put like a little tiny monument park in there somewhere
You know, we could just go up there and hang out
Like hang out with the ghosts and stuff
There would be fat guys in zubaz pants already there for us
Wearing jersey T-shirts with names on the back

They have jerseys with names on the back but the uniforms don’t?
Well, can you blame ’em
Uh, yeah

If I had 2 billion dollars
(If I had 2 billion dollars)
Well, I’d buy you Carl Pavano
(But we’d DL him for three years because that’s cruel)
And if I had 2 billion dollars
(If I had 2 billion dollars)
Well, I’d buy you an exotic vet
(Yep, like The Rocket or Abreu)
And if I had 2 billion dollars
(If I had 2 billion dollars)
Well, I’d buy you Gary Sheffield’s remains
(Ooh, all them crazy drug-riddled bones)
And If I had 2 million dollars I’d buy your title

If I had 2 billion dollars
We wouldn’t have to worry about scouting
If I had 2 billion dollars
Now, we’d pay A.J. Burnett a whole lot more
If I had 2 billion dollars
We wouldn’t have a consistent winner
But we would have just one winner
Of course we would, it’s just simple probability
And buy really expensive middle relievers
That’s right, all the fanciest relie….Paul Quantrill!
Mmmmmm, Mmmm-Hmmm

If I had 2 billion dollars
(If I had 2 billion dollars)
Well, I’d buy you a Moose
(But not a real moose, that’s cruel)
And if I had 2 billion dollars
(If I had 2 billion dollars)
Well, I’d buy you a mercenary
(A Giambi or a Mondesi)
If I had 2 billion dollars
(If I had 2 billion dollars)
Well, I’d buy you some steroids
(Haven’t you always wanted some steroids?)

If I had 2 billion dollars
I’d buy your title

If I had 2 billion dollars, If I had 2 billion dollars
If I had 2 billion dollars, If I had 2 billion dollars
If I had 2 billion dollars
I’d be champs